The Architect of My Happy Ending

First off, I love my people. I don't mean race or even humanity for that matter when referring to "my people", but rather my friends. They're AMAZING!!!

So late last night I'm on the phone with one of my favorite artist friends, Nakia Henry, whom you should remember from my most recent "Official Co-Sign". As we're discussing our music careers and the nature of being creative, she makes an incredibly insightful comment that borders on philosophical and downright genius. She says, "we're all creators in that we shape the world around us. Whether good or bad, we have a hand in every part of our daily lives." Now as poignant as that statement is, I already knew this and most introspective people do too. However, what followed, blew my mind. She began to differentiate being "a creator" vs "a creative". As artists, regardless of aesthetic, we are "creatives", and unlike "creators" we naturally assume accountability for the lives we lead. At least that's how I interpreted it, but let me explain further...

The difference isn't just accountability, but more so the fact that "creatives" relish, appreciate, and embrace the control over their world. This translates into and ultimately explains where our art comes from. We aggressively shape our universe through art! It also answers why we're moody when we're not proactively creating or honing our crafts. Deep right? I know....

So here's my half-ass attempt to make some sensible correlation between the post title and my new philosophical finding. Whether a "creative" or a beloved talentless counterpart, we both shape our own existences. On all accounts, we're the same. However, as a "creative", my happiness in life is directly tied to my music. In mathematical terms, if 1 + 1 = 2, then Shake/"creative" + music/(insert random art aesthetic) = happiness/Shaky in Wonderland. Excelsior!!!

If I've lost you at some point, don't worry because that was partly my intent. If you've extracted anything from it, even better. In great allegorical fashion, the moral of the story is, we shape our world. As Lyor Cohen would say, "If you're a rapper, rap!" Do whatever you love and own every moment of it because we are indeed the architects of our happy ending.

My Top 10: Rap is Like the NBA: '94 Draft Edition

So in the past 3 years, XXL magazine has done 2 groundbreaking, yet controversial covers that give shine to up and comers. For some oddball reason, the Hip-Hop community, mostly frustrated artists, complain about their respective choices. I think that 1) the publication should be applauded because no other mag has done something so avant garde, and 2)the staff shouldn't be crucified for their choices because there must be a definitive criteria for consideration. Granted, they dropped the ball with the notable absence of Drizzy in '08, but the truth is, homie's buzz grew exponentially towards the later half of the year which could explain why he missed it. However, to put thing in perspective, I've compiled my Top 10 Draft for what many consider one of the last seminal years in Hip-Hop; 1994. The results may surprise you.

Criteria:
1: No SOLO releases prior to 1994 (Sorry Common & The Roots)
* Rank is based on overall buzz, hype, and relevance

1: Method Man - his team was unquestionably the biggest thing going in Hip-Hop at the time and everyone was anticipating his solo release after the gargantuan single based on his moniker

2: Nas - the underground rallied around him, mainstream hailed him the new Rakim to a post Das EFX/Onyx era, and he had the co-sign of every super producer of the time

3: Notorious B.I.G - The star power of Bad Boy captured the hearts of Hip-Hop fans with underground gems like "Party & Bullshit", "Dreams" and guest appearances alongside the Queen of R&B/Soul, Mary J. Blige

4: Jeru The Damaja - after countless appearances alongside Hip-Hop mainstays, Gangstarr, Jeru was set to release a classic produced exclusively by Preemo. Not to mention his single "Come Clean" sent waves through Hip-Hop

5: Warren G. - yup, we seem to have collectively forgotten that "Regulate" was one of the biggest records of the year, and it didn't hurt either that he was affiliated with Dr. Dre, Snoop, and Death Row.

6: Da Brat - Jermaine Dupri was set to prove that Kris Kross and TLC were no flukes, and he sure did with his female Snoop. Between "Give It To You" & "Funkdified", homegirl's debut was set to establish a new precedent for females.

7: OutKast - with a single whose title is too long to spell out, I'll just say that ATL's premier group brought an entirely new sound that hadn't been heard on a national level in Hip-Hop yet. Thank goodness for these 2 southern boys..

8: Craig Mack - Project Funk Da World may not have had the impact that he anticipated, but it produced 2 hits, 1 bonafied classic, and 1 of the best remixes ever in Hip-Hop. I'd be lying if I said that the Easy Mo Bee produced track "Flava In Ya Ear" still isn't DOPE as hell

9: Keith Murray - The Def Squad must have sure been proud when their fellow member broke out the gate with a classic like "The Most Beatifullest Thing In The World". Though he used words out of context, made little to no sense, his rhymes sure sounded ill.

10: Smif N Wessun - Though their debut wouldn't drop until '95, they sure rode the momentum of Black Moon. The singles "Bucktown", Wreckonize" and "Wone Time" were already certified underground classics, and the group would further penetrate the mainstream with the memorable back and forth on Mary's "I Love You"

So there you have it. Notice anything? For one there are some noticeable absences like M.O.P, who began making noise. There was also Mic Geronimo, who's single "It's Real" was smashing NY. AZ's appearance on ILLMATIC generated a similar buzz to Nas' on "Live at the Barbeque", but wasn't enough to qualify. Most notably is the man that would basically define the next 12-14 years in Hip-Hop, Mr. Sean Carter. Although he had singles that made noise, he wasn't THAT dude at that moment, and couldn't crack the top 10.

Just as in the NBA, it doesn't always pay to be "numero uno" or in the Top 10 at all a la Glenn Robinson, Kwame Brown, and "Mr. Ether" himself, Sam Bowie. Take note folks. You can get your panties in a bunch, but nobody can predict the future, not even XXL.

Go ahead and debate...........

Dazed and Confused

As I pack my bags and prepare to spend the holidays with my sister, I'm not very festive. As I look back on '09, I'm actually sort of sad. On one end, I saw my visibility skyrocket because of a controversial music video. I recently dropped a project which is receiving overwhelmingly positive feedback within days of it's release. Best of all, I have a new nephew. That's alot to be happy about. On the other end however, I see fragments of past friendships and relationships that defined a huge part of my decade. Friends became associates and significant others became strangers. It's tough...

I guess I have to embrace this new space I'm in. I see glimmers of light breaking through the door, but I'm frightened to go in. I ask myself, "Have I become complacent and a shell of my former self?" Most people that have known me for a while would probably describe me as an outgoing, ambitious, and free spirited individual. However, I don't know where or when that changed.

Now I find myself re-learning things I once knew. I'm re-learning how to be hungry. I'm re-learning how to love. I'm re-learning alot...

As I write this, I'm suddenly overcome by a feeling of optimism. This is funny... comical even. What started out as a somewhat depressing and random post has slowly morphed into something inspirational; at least from this writer's perspective. Deep down, I'm excited for what the future holds. I've seen more success with the aforementioned projects in a few months than I've seen in a long time. I went out recently, and was reminded of the lasting impression I left on very influential people. If anything, I had an incredible weekend with 2 people that reminded me of what happiness, love, and kindness look like. Thank y'all. It's on.

I need to pay attention to my own music more often because "I've got a ticket to success and it's one way... I'm taking off with no baggage." I just needed to vent...bare with me

Overstanding

Earlier I peeped a tweet that said "being happy is a matter of being thankful". How true... I recently spoke to one of my many little sisters, and we were discussing how people can be ungrateful. I know we all take things for granted from time to time; it's human nature. However, one of the worst feeling ever is being taken for granted. So the next time someone does something for you; gives you advice, exercises their generosity, or turns the other cheek, be thankful. Be thankful that at every moment, you could be in a situation worse than your current one. Enjoy life...happiness is what you make it!!!

The Thread That Binds Us

As you may know, most of my blog entries are usually sparked by a conversation, and this one is no different. While talking to a friend about relationships, I said something along the lines that "every relationship can be reduced to one single commonality that will bind the 2 people for ever."

I firmly believe this to be true, so let me explain. I have a friend, who in many ways is like family. I don't speak to him very often, but we are ALWAYS there for each other in time of need. Funny thing is, the relationship began because of a shared experienced that shaped us forever. He lost his dad, and shortly after, I lost my mom. In retrospect, the circumstances of our losses were similar. Both of our parents were our only foundation, so in losing them, we lost almost everything. There was a mutual heartache, void, and understanding, that only we were able to communicate to each other. Now I understand that many people experience the loss of loved ones, but at 16 & 17, I don't believe many understood the process of maturing while living your life by trial and error. In many ways that is the cohesive thread that bound us, and still keeps us close. Ultimately we were left to grow up on our own, maintain our sanity, all the while coming to grips with adolescence and adulthood.

I have another friend that I am bound to by an unconditional love for music. This is not an ordinary love, or a simple "I wanna do music" kind of thing. Its the feeling that this is our birth right and we were inherently destined to do so.

My point is, if you look at the people you are close to, you can probably reduce your relationship to "1 thread". Sometimes these threads can be negative, like friends who are only close because they do dirt together i.e Thelma and Louise. Oftentimes these situations are the worst because they are predicated not so much on the commonality, but fear. Its the fear that one person can expose the other. So when both parties have leverage, they decide to "ride out" together.

Lately I've been thinking about the experiences that tie me to people, but more importantly how they care for our "thread". I definitely feel that when you truly begin to understand why you connect with someone, you can exist harmoniously as long as your thread is upheld and cherished. However when violated, things get ugly. 'Nuff Said. 1

A Repsonse To "The Goodness"

and I quote, "But in relation to your feeling about what is good, sometimes its not that Good things are running away from you, its that sometimes good things have to move out the way for BETTER things or rather Greater things to appear"

Its officially all in perspective. Thanks Nelly. I see you... BONG BONG!!!

The Goodness

While talking to a friend about music, somehow the conversation was steered in the direction of "goodness" or what is "good"?. It was such an interesting discussion because it involved everything from my childhood experiences, to my philosophical readings of Plato and Aristotle to the idea of the human condition.

It was incredibly profound because for the 1st time in my life, I realized that "Good" or "what is Good" transcends any singular experience. Whereas Plato argued that Goodness itself exist, Aristotle took it a step further and looked for the "highest good". Without getting too deep into either of their philosophies, I ask you to think of a song that touches your heart. Next, the taste of your favorite food, followed by the smile from a person you think is beautiful. Aren't all these things "Good"? Fuck it, let's keep it real...they're great. Point is, we've always known what was good regardless of what shape it took or how it manifested itself. There lies the key folks...that's the human condition.

We all share this innate ability to know, feel, and recognize what brings us happiness, and in turn we label it "Good". The question is why do we try to deprive ourselves? Why do we deny it? At 5 years old, I knew cookies were good. At 9, I realized rap was good. At 19, I realized love is good. Then why is it, that in adulthood, I find myself running away from what is good? Better yet, why do I feel good things are running away from me?

We've all heard the cliches, "God is good" and "God is love". When you break them down, they couldn't be truer. I've already explained that we have an innate ability to know what is good because it transcends any singular experience. Doesn't that equate to God. Same for love. In its presence, all things created, and in its absence, all things are destroyed.

I ask, are you down to fully embrace what is "good"? Its not about philosophy, its not about religion, its not about music, its not about selfish desires... its about that feeling we've all shared and known.

that all. 1

How Do You Measure A Person's Character?

In recent weeks I been reassessing the relationships I've built with people I consider friends, acquaintances, and everyone else in my circle. In an attempt to start '09 the right way, I figured it was necessary to not only look at others, but also myself.

I've always told myself that if you have a friend, and you know they're a liar, you can't be mad when you catch them in a lie. You simply have to accept them for who they are, and just be cautious. Point is, you can't change people. Does that mean you should never trust them or they're "bad" people? Well this is the very question I've been contemplating lately.

For instance, for many years my father and I had a very tumultuous relationship. To be quite honest, I'm not quite sure it could've been considered a relationship. I documented the entire ordeal in a song called "Daddy Dearest" many years ago. To make a long story short, after returning from a school retreat, I came home to a partially empty house. He had moved out, but what made it all the more difficult was the fact my mother had died a few months prior. So here am I am at 16 without any parents.

After everything happened, as would be expected, I held a lot of resentment towards my father. Somewhere along the line, I realized I needed to stop holding negative feelings towards him. The strange thing is, around the same time, he came back in my life. I guess he realized his mistakes, and figured it was time to make amends. Truthfully I don't know, but as it stands now, we have a great relationship.

My point is, do you judge a person purely on the basis of their actions? In certain instances you can, but most times, no. It wouldn't be fair unless you looked at all the factors that contributed to their actions. In the instance of my father, I think to myself, here is a man that realized his mistakes, accepted accountability, and made a conscious effort to rectify the situation. Does that mean his actions weren't F'd up. No, but how can I not look at everything in totality. So I've never outright articulated it, but I forgave him.

I say all of this because I'm once again reminded that you can't measure a person purely on what they do or don't do, but how willing they are to accept accountability for their actions. So I'll leave with this quote by Sara Paddison, “Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

The President Elect

"I don't care what the naysayers may say
but I swear Barack Obama is the gateway
to black kids not following everything Jay say.
Not Jay Smooth, but Jay-Z or Kay Slay.
Not trying to sell drugs or AKs.
Not trying to act thug just to save face.
It'll be acceptable to pass 8th grade,
high school, college, and get an MBA
without ever shooting for the NBA
and I'll choose that option on any day"

-Destiny (Election '08)

November 4th marked a historic moment that will go down in the annals of world history. I've heard some people say "this election was easily the most important in their lifetime". Others have said "Obama winning is the realization of Dr. King's dream", and while I agree, I'm not surprised he won. President Elect Obama represents so much to so many, but the reason he won was simple. He embodies the spirit of a changing society, a changing world, and ultimately hope for a better future.

When an official government website url is entitled change, it becomes blatantly apparent that you're dealing with a man of the future. The paradigm has shifted, and all the archaic conventions of previous politicians, their practices, and fuckery are behind us. Similarly to Tupac, I am not going to prematurely call him a God-send, but I will admit that he is one with the times which keeps me optimistic. He seems to be on the pulse of everything that's relevant, and seemingly understands the needs of people. Whereas George W. played on our insecurities after 9/11 to secure another term, Barack seems to have a certain sincerity that has captured us all.

I'm hopeful for the changes that may be brought about during his tenure in office, but I'm most excited about the social impact he already has and will continue to have. So many times I've walked from the train station home, which is in the hood, and I see interracial couples. I usually think to myself that this is a beautiful sight because, at least in my estimation, we're 2 generations removed from a world where race will be a moot point. Although racism will still exist because there will always be extremist, we live in different times. We live in a world where technology has broken geographic and communication barriers which really creates "the melting pot" we've so long heard of. There's a kid in Queensbridge right now listening to French Hip-Hop, and chatting with a friend living in Russia who he/she has never met, but they are bound by similar interest. Barack Obama is like the physical manifestation of this very notion. He embodies the movement towards a focus on humanity rather than individuality, and that to me, is the key.

On an micro level, Barack as President will have a positive impact on inner city children. I've always said that Hip-Hop has a way of instilling ambition in people that come from situations that would likely not. However, its a misdirected ambition. Its ambition to be like a rapper, an athlete, or a false caricature of what they think a businessperson is: a hustler. For the 1st time in a while, we have someone in the spotlight that is willing to embrace their status as a role model and assume responsibility. For this reason alone, he gets my co-sign. Although it already exists, there will be an increased number of children growing up in poverty that will no longer see entertainment or sports as an easy out, but rather aspire to be politicians, journalists, psychologists, teachers, plumbers, or any other self respecting profession.

Part 2 of this blog-essay coming as soon as I collect my thoughts. 1

The Keys To Succes

I'd like to start this by saying, I have premonitions....real talk. This entire entry was inspired by a conversation that took place in my dream. So when I said, "I don't see dead people, I hear voices", I wasn't lying.

In music, I've always felt that there are unspoken rules that haven't been quite articulated. Well here's my synopsis of the 3 step song process that will ultimately determine if you have a successful career.

Step 1: "The Introduction Song"
Your 1st song should always be you be your set up. By this I mean the record that puts you in people's consciousness. Of course you want your song to be a hit, but you must constantly be aware of your audience. They will always be motivated by 2 thing; direction & action. Direction simply describes their feeling toward your music, while action... is self explanatory. Will they act on their direction? 1st Time out, probably not which ultimately leads to step 2

Step 2: "The Breakthrough Song"
Now I have to explain why your 1st song can't be your "breakthrough song". The problem is, if your 1st single is by far your hottest record, how can you possibly follow? We've actually seen this illustrated in the careers of Mims & Cassie. Its counter intuitive, and doesn't help your career. The breakthrough typically happens when listeners are finally familiar with you, and your music, forgive the pun, strikes a chord. In other words, they are willing to spend $$$ now. I could use the analogy of any other consumer product. When something is 1st introduced, only the early adopters, and those believing they are trend setters will purchase whatever. However, it takes time before the product can truly reach its potential and be mass market. Also, it should be noted that the "breakthrough" doesn't have to take place immediately after the intro song, its just better if it does. The "breakthrough" can essentially be your 3rd attempt or maybe even your 4th, but once the foundation is built with the "intro song", you're on your way

Step 3: "The Follow Through Song"

It is imperative to have the follow up to your breakthrough prepared, and if not, your career may be doomed. Oftentimes artists try to establish careers off of one song, and it can't be done. This is almost as important, if not more important, than having your "breakthrough". Follow up is essential, and needs to be well orchestrated. Your follow up should actually come before the breakthrough dies down, and this way, you can ride success' wave. In general, people will always be more willing to hear what you have to say if you have momentum, as opposed to months after your hit has faded.

voila....my 3 Step Key to Success

Just think, where would Jay-Z be if there were no, "Can I Get A", followed by "Hard Knock Life", followed by everything else. Where would 50 be if "Wanksta" wasn't followed by "In The Club" followed by "21 Questions"

...I have seen careers not pop because artists have not followed these rules. 1

Today's Music?

No, this is not another rant about how awful music is. Well sort of.... I was just thinking that despite my personal preferences, today's youth does have music that's defining their lives. In a few years, "Walk It Out", "Crank Dat", "This Is Why I'm Hot", "A Bay Bay" & countless others will be played in succession by some DJ in a club, and those same kids turned adults, will lose their minds. Granted the music may not have substance, and the artists may not have careers, but they are certainly defining a time. Its an era of music predicated on the dance associated with the song and memories of "when you 1st saw it on youtube." I've come to grips with this and I'm not mad....I just want balance, more substance without sacrificing the commercial viability, and something respectable. Something that will truly resonate with people other than "I remember the dance, but not the artist's name". Hopefully I will contribute to delivering this...

What Are YOU In It For?

So I was talking to my dude, Scratch, last night about art. As we were talking about his upcoming project, that will be huge btw, he paraphrased a Norman Rockwell quote. Mr. Rockwell said something along the lines of his work being SOULLESS because he did so much commissioned work during his career. As iconic as his work is, you can only assume he had gotten to a point where he either realized his art didn't have purpose, or he had given up his creative freedom in pursuit of money, or his art no longer spoke to its creator. The latter must be the toughest to deal with, because you only have yourself to answer to.

Well it got me thinking about a friend of mine who is actually quite successful and incredibly talented. Actually, he's one of the most creative minds I've ever come across. My only fear is, that this creative spirit will look back a few short years from now and feel like Mr. Rockwell.

I guess, long story short...FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. Working towards your own goals will get you further than any corporation can. TRUST!!!

Vulnerability

So a friend and I were talking, and somehow the conversation steered in the direction of vulnerability. Particularly what it means in the grand scheme of Hip-Hop. In today's hardcore climate, some may argue that there's no room for a vulnerable rapper, but I've always prided myself on being THAT artist.

Now don't get it twisted. When I say "vulnerable", I don't mean "that punk, he's soft, a sissy". I'm talking about the ability of an artist, from any genre, to expose their deepest feelings without caring about their perception. Hip-Hop seems to be the only form of music where you're expected to perpetuate a facade of being HARD. We obviously saw were that got Prodigy. The truth is though, that if artist were more honest with themselves, they'd probably sell more records.

Almost all artist that have showcased this extraordinary talent have proven to be some of the most prolific artists of our time. Not only that, but they are iconic as well. I don't care what anyone says, but Tupac's "Dear Mama" will never be duplicated. This is the same reason we fell in love with Mary during "My Life". There is no denying the sincerity of Lauryn's words on the "Miseducation". However, most people haven't realized that there's also a pattern in my examples; a pattern of success.

The general public seems to gravitate to such artists because they can vicariously live through their words. They identify with them on an entirely different level. Furthermore, as artists, when we explore this vulnerability we can discuss real life topics and not the cliches we've come accustomed to.

"Just my thoughts"

Where Has The Feeling Gone?

I've been aware for quite sometime that something is missing. From where you may ask? Everywhere. I feel like we are desperately searching for something "real". At this point, people attach themselves to just about anything they can. Everyone is chasing to be involved, included in, participate in, or simply trying to claim something. Although technology has brought us closer together, it simultaneously has created this divide and left us searching for anything tangible.

Music doesn't have the same warmth it once had. Movies, for the most part, must be huge blockbusters to keep our attention. WTF is going on. Somebody, anybody....tell me

Legendary?

What does it take to become legendary? Obviously,it takes extraordinary acts and feats. Mr. H to the Izzo would argue that you're a living legend when everyone wants to BE you while you're still alive (Listen to "Never Let You Down"). That notion is cool, but I've come to believe legendary status is achieved once an individual transcends their field of work. For instance, MJ is bigger than the game of basketball. Ali was bigger than boxing, and Hogan & Flair(WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) were bigger than "sports entertainment". Becoming a legend also entails performing way beyond anyone's expectations, but also doing it consistently. I don't know about y'all, but I'm ready to put that work in. If you're down, "Autobots, roll-out!"

Am I a "HATER"?

.....granted, I did a song titled "Hater", but that was me being whimsical and poking fun at the trends of the time. Lately I find myself frowning upon new artist and new music. I know I can be an opinionated elitist at times, but I swear very few are making anything that resonates with me. I guess my question is, where are the songs that will define the lives of today's youth?

Its almost as if artists forgot what music was about...MUSIC. The classics have always transcended generational gaps and time, but I don't think today's music will be looked at 10 years from now like, "That was the joint." (Maybe I'm just getting old) We've become so desensitized that we're more concerned with an artists' Myspace, Facebook, & Youtute presence than the quality of the actual product. It really hurts my heart. I shall further illustrate this with the following:

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye = CLASSIC!
Rock With You by Michael Jackson = CLASSIC!
T.R.O.Y by Pete Rock & CL Smooth = CLASSIC!
360 Degrees by Grand Puba = CLASSIC!
Real Love by Mary J Blige = CLASSIC!
Yahhh! by Soulja Boy = NOT CLASSIC
Me & U by Cassie =NOT CLASSIC

My point is not to knock other artists either because I liked the Cassie record, but I wanted to simply show that there are many "hits" (I'll let Billboard tell it) but very few CLASSICS!