I had a great day. Incredible in fact. Thursday, July 22/Friday, July 23rd will be remembered for many reasons. It wasn't debauchery filled or grandiose in any particular way, but it all felt RIGHT. I checked my barber, who's like an older brother to me, and we had a very revealing and genuine conversation. Jon Solo and I performed a song from our upcoming project to an incredibly receptive audience. The setting could best be described as AOL Studio Sessions meets MTV's "Unplugged". I later went to my boy's going away party. Throughout the night, I saw a bunch of old friends and met a few cool folks as well. The interesting thing about it all though, is the fact that I felt like I was surrounded by people who will positively influence my future. I'll end this post with a corny Ice Cube cliche, "Today Was A Good Day"
Uno
PS: To my new blog followers, thank you and what up?
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Rap Vs Porn!!!
We've all heard the comparisons; "The rap game reminds me of the crack game". My boy once told me that Hip-Hop is like the WWE, with its top stars fighting for position. Ironically, after he told me this, it became a headline in an issue of The Source magazine. Lately I've come to think of Hip-Hop like porn. On what basis you ask? Let me explain...
I'm no porn connoisseur despite finding Roxy Reynolds to be a BAD chick (insert Luda song), but I've noticed some commonalities. For one, they handle age similarly. In porn, when you're the new face, you're all the rave and the cat's meow. However, the minute you look a day over 25, you automatically get labeled a "MILF". Far worse is getting into your late 20s or early 30's because then you're branded as ..."MATURE". How awful? Hip-Hop does the same thing. In today's current climate we find a lot of young artist that find success with one or two singles only to disappear into obscurity shortly after a la Hurricane Chris. Longevity eludes most with the exception of Jay-Z or Eminem, but then they're criticized for being old and out of touch. It's crazy.
I understand Hip-Hop has always been a youth driven music, but the truth is, the artist that penetrate the culture and stick around are usually older. Prime examples; Young Jeezy and Rick Ross. Both have been mainstays since their respective solo debuts in '05 and '06, but neither were spring chickens. However, there's always this negative stigma of being old. It's Hip-Hop's proverbial elephant in the room. Somewhere in people's mind they see rappers as being young, when in all actuality, the most successful aren't.
I guess it all comes down to relevance. Every artist will have their day and hopefully a solid run, but no one stays on top forever. Heather Hunter and Janet Jackme can't compete with Jada Fire, but eventually her flame will out too. With closer inspection, the industries are different. A rapper may spend years trying to "get on" and may not get a break until much later into their recording career whereas new pornstars are sought after once they become legal. They're all treated the same in the end though. At a certain point, they become disposable and have to step aside for the newer face. I guess no one ever wants to bow out, but I've realized you have to be accepting and do so gracefully. At least then, you'll be remembered fondly. No one wants to be the dilapidated rapper past their prime or the pornstar with droopy titties and a vajayjay that looks like roast beef.
Just my thought. Uno
I'm no porn connoisseur despite finding Roxy Reynolds to be a BAD chick (insert Luda song), but I've noticed some commonalities. For one, they handle age similarly. In porn, when you're the new face, you're all the rave and the cat's meow. However, the minute you look a day over 25, you automatically get labeled a "MILF". Far worse is getting into your late 20s or early 30's because then you're branded as ..."MATURE". How awful? Hip-Hop does the same thing. In today's current climate we find a lot of young artist that find success with one or two singles only to disappear into obscurity shortly after a la Hurricane Chris. Longevity eludes most with the exception of Jay-Z or Eminem, but then they're criticized for being old and out of touch. It's crazy.
I understand Hip-Hop has always been a youth driven music, but the truth is, the artist that penetrate the culture and stick around are usually older. Prime examples; Young Jeezy and Rick Ross. Both have been mainstays since their respective solo debuts in '05 and '06, but neither were spring chickens. However, there's always this negative stigma of being old. It's Hip-Hop's proverbial elephant in the room. Somewhere in people's mind they see rappers as being young, when in all actuality, the most successful aren't.
I guess it all comes down to relevance. Every artist will have their day and hopefully a solid run, but no one stays on top forever. Heather Hunter and Janet Jackme can't compete with Jada Fire, but eventually her flame will out too. With closer inspection, the industries are different. A rapper may spend years trying to "get on" and may not get a break until much later into their recording career whereas new pornstars are sought after once they become legal. They're all treated the same in the end though. At a certain point, they become disposable and have to step aside for the newer face. I guess no one ever wants to bow out, but I've realized you have to be accepting and do so gracefully. At least then, you'll be remembered fondly. No one wants to be the dilapidated rapper past their prime or the pornstar with droopy titties and a vajayjay that looks like roast beef.
Just my thought. Uno
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Rhyme and Reason Ep. 1 (Architect Preview)
I don't know why the audio is out of sync, but you get it...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Architect of My Happy Ending
First off, I love my people. I don't mean race or even humanity for that matter when referring to "my people", but rather my friends. They're AMAZING!!!
So late last night I'm on the phone with one of my favorite artist friends, Nakia Henry, whom you should remember from my most recent "Official Co-Sign". As we're discussing our music careers and the nature of being creative, she makes an incredibly insightful comment that borders on philosophical and downright genius. She says, "we're all creators in that we shape the world around us. Whether good or bad, we have a hand in every part of our daily lives." Now as poignant as that statement is, I already knew this and most introspective people do too. However, what followed, blew my mind. She began to differentiate being "a creator" vs "a creative". As artists, regardless of aesthetic, we are "creatives", and unlike "creators" we naturally assume accountability for the lives we lead. At least that's how I interpreted it, but let me explain further...
The difference isn't just accountability, but more so the fact that "creatives" relish, appreciate, and embrace the control over their world. This translates into and ultimately explains where our art comes from. We aggressively shape our universe through art! It also answers why we're moody when we're not proactively creating or honing our crafts. Deep right? I know....
So here's my half-ass attempt to make some sensible correlation between the post title and my new philosophical finding. Whether a "creative" or a beloved talentless counterpart, we both shape our own existences. On all accounts, we're the same. However, as a "creative", my happiness in life is directly tied to my music. In mathematical terms, if 1 + 1 = 2, then Shake/"creative" + music/(insert random art aesthetic) = happiness/Shaky in Wonderland. Excelsior!!!
If I've lost you at some point, don't worry because that was partly my intent. If you've extracted anything from it, even better. In great allegorical fashion, the moral of the story is, we shape our world. As Lyor Cohen would say, "If you're a rapper, rap!" Do whatever you love and own every moment of it because we are indeed the architects of our happy ending.
So late last night I'm on the phone with one of my favorite artist friends, Nakia Henry, whom you should remember from my most recent "Official Co-Sign". As we're discussing our music careers and the nature of being creative, she makes an incredibly insightful comment that borders on philosophical and downright genius. She says, "we're all creators in that we shape the world around us. Whether good or bad, we have a hand in every part of our daily lives." Now as poignant as that statement is, I already knew this and most introspective people do too. However, what followed, blew my mind. She began to differentiate being "a creator" vs "a creative". As artists, regardless of aesthetic, we are "creatives", and unlike "creators" we naturally assume accountability for the lives we lead. At least that's how I interpreted it, but let me explain further...
The difference isn't just accountability, but more so the fact that "creatives" relish, appreciate, and embrace the control over their world. This translates into and ultimately explains where our art comes from. We aggressively shape our universe through art! It also answers why we're moody when we're not proactively creating or honing our crafts. Deep right? I know....
So here's my half-ass attempt to make some sensible correlation between the post title and my new philosophical finding. Whether a "creative" or a beloved talentless counterpart, we both shape our own existences. On all accounts, we're the same. However, as a "creative", my happiness in life is directly tied to my music. In mathematical terms, if 1 + 1 = 2, then Shake/"creative" + music/(insert random art aesthetic) = happiness/Shaky in Wonderland. Excelsior!!!
If I've lost you at some point, don't worry because that was partly my intent. If you've extracted anything from it, even better. In great allegorical fashion, the moral of the story is, we shape our world. As Lyor Cohen would say, "If you're a rapper, rap!" Do whatever you love and own every moment of it because we are indeed the architects of our happy ending.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Clueless: The Relationship Edition
So after a lengthy convo with my bestie, T, I've realized that I'm severely lacking in the area of male/female relations. Now all things considered, I understand the whole women are from Venus/men are from Mars thing. However, I'm on an entirely different plane. I've had to seriously ask myself, "what contributes to this shortcoming"?
So after alot of thought, a couple failed relationships, and even more blank stares, I've come up with a few hypotheses. First is the fact that I'm clueless. Unless a girl is overtly blatant in her attempts to get my attention, I probably won't notice. Furthermore, even if she gets it, I'm too naive to think it's anything more than casual convo. Flirting translates as nothing to me because I think 75% of women do it for kicks without any genuine interest in the dude. (such evil games you women play & this stat comes from my observations while out drinking)
Secondly, I attended an all boys high school. There were obvious academic advantages to this. Plus I'm a firm believer that if you add woman to any equation, the nature of men and their behavior change. But when I think about this now, I realized that I missed out on crucial social interactions during an even more critical developmental stage; puberty. DAMN!!! Although I dated and was pretty popular at the neighboring all girl schools, this ultimately means that I missed out on tons of buns. It's a good thing though. I'm a better guy for it, and I'm not a man whore like some of my other friends. On the flip side, I've also been a serial monogamist.
In all reality I've never had problems with girls liking me or finding decent girls to date, but I know something is off. For example, I've been in, let's say 3, "real" relationships and in all cases the girls pursued me. Regardless of how charming or cool I may see myself, I think there's something awkward with never having chased a girl. It's created a lackadaisical and even more clueless person that expects to be chased instead of the other way around.
So now In adulthood, I find myself not knowing how to properly deal with women. Can I spark convo, get a number, and get laid? Sure!! However it seems as if more is missing. What happens when a woman throws weird signals, like they typically do, or plays "hard to get"? I'm the type that will fall back and assume there's nothing instead of being the aggressor.
I've always subscribed to the "be yourself & keep it honest" aesthetic in which you're vocal about your feelings. Thing is, in adulthood, people still play games!!! (Oh yes they do!) There's this unspoken power struggle instead of "ok I feel you too. What's next." I just never understood the reason for the trivial games.
I'm almost positive there have been women that were into me and I had no clue! Actually... I remember girls at different times, usually the most uneventful, telling me they either had crushes on me, were goo goo ga ga over me, or straight thought "I could get it". Thing is, I know myself. I've never been the smooth dude. I've always been the cool/swaggerific dude, but never the smooth dude. So where does that leave me now? Still clueless...
Sigh... Lol. JOKES!!!
There you have it!! Discuss it, debate it, share it, and laugh!!
So after alot of thought, a couple failed relationships, and even more blank stares, I've come up with a few hypotheses. First is the fact that I'm clueless. Unless a girl is overtly blatant in her attempts to get my attention, I probably won't notice. Furthermore, even if she gets it, I'm too naive to think it's anything more than casual convo. Flirting translates as nothing to me because I think 75% of women do it for kicks without any genuine interest in the dude. (such evil games you women play & this stat comes from my observations while out drinking)
Secondly, I attended an all boys high school. There were obvious academic advantages to this. Plus I'm a firm believer that if you add woman to any equation, the nature of men and their behavior change. But when I think about this now, I realized that I missed out on crucial social interactions during an even more critical developmental stage; puberty. DAMN!!! Although I dated and was pretty popular at the neighboring all girl schools, this ultimately means that I missed out on tons of buns. It's a good thing though. I'm a better guy for it, and I'm not a man whore like some of my other friends. On the flip side, I've also been a serial monogamist.
In all reality I've never had problems with girls liking me or finding decent girls to date, but I know something is off. For example, I've been in, let's say 3, "real" relationships and in all cases the girls pursued me. Regardless of how charming or cool I may see myself, I think there's something awkward with never having chased a girl. It's created a lackadaisical and even more clueless person that expects to be chased instead of the other way around.
So now In adulthood, I find myself not knowing how to properly deal with women. Can I spark convo, get a number, and get laid? Sure!! However it seems as if more is missing. What happens when a woman throws weird signals, like they typically do, or plays "hard to get"? I'm the type that will fall back and assume there's nothing instead of being the aggressor.
I've always subscribed to the "be yourself & keep it honest" aesthetic in which you're vocal about your feelings. Thing is, in adulthood, people still play games!!! (Oh yes they do!) There's this unspoken power struggle instead of "ok I feel you too. What's next." I just never understood the reason for the trivial games.
I'm almost positive there have been women that were into me and I had no clue! Actually... I remember girls at different times, usually the most uneventful, telling me they either had crushes on me, were goo goo ga ga over me, or straight thought "I could get it". Thing is, I know myself. I've never been the smooth dude. I've always been the cool/swaggerific dude, but never the smooth dude. So where does that leave me now? Still clueless...
Sigh... Lol. JOKES!!!
There you have it!! Discuss it, debate it, share it, and laugh!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Random Thoughts: Life is Great!!!!
-Ultra "Joy" is the realest and will knock you out
-The Armory Show was incredible and deserves it's own post, which I may do. It was a bit overwhelming, but dope nonetheless
-anything impromptu is fantastic, whether photo shoots or jam sessions with amazing musicians
-Thank you to everyone that showed an immense amount of love last night. I had the time of my life
-Congrats to the homie Anthony for dancing at The Oscars. It was great talking to you
-never underestimate the impact you've had on people's lives
-Biggie's spirit lives on; "We'll always love Big Poppa"
-Can't wait to work with the homie RTNC tomorrow
-To my new homie, you've inspired me and don't know it. Thank you
-I'm sitting on Cloud 9
-"don't ever forget the moment you began to doubt/transitioning from fitting in to standing out"
-That's where I'm at
-The Armory Show was incredible and deserves it's own post, which I may do. It was a bit overwhelming, but dope nonetheless
-anything impromptu is fantastic, whether photo shoots or jam sessions with amazing musicians
-Thank you to everyone that showed an immense amount of love last night. I had the time of my life
-Congrats to the homie Anthony for dancing at The Oscars. It was great talking to you
-never underestimate the impact you've had on people's lives
-Biggie's spirit lives on; "We'll always love Big Poppa"
-Can't wait to work with the homie RTNC tomorrow
-To my new homie, you've inspired me and don't know it. Thank you
-I'm sitting on Cloud 9
-"don't ever forget the moment you began to doubt/transitioning from fitting in to standing out"
-That's where I'm at
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Soundtrack of my Life
Music has an incredible way of defining my life. Just about every significant moment I've ever experienced is directly linked to a song. I can typically tell how much I feel a chick if certain songs begin to speak to me, as if I'm living vicariously through the artist. In the same breath, I can tell when I'm over someone when the song doesn't hold any more sentimental attachment. If the person was meaningful enough, it will always be there though. Relationship stuff aside, I can remember where I was, what I was wearing, who I was chilling with, and so much more based on music.
I'll never forget the summer of '92 because Pete Rock and CL Smooth's "T.R.O.Y" was THAT joint. The minute those horns came in, I'd lose my mind. I can see myself in that awful colored all over print t-shirt with my gold Guess denim shorts and matching NIKE Diamond Turf's with the gold mesh on the side standing in front of Naptale's house kicking rhymes (I thought I was fly, but I wasn't). I'll never forget watching the video to Shawn Stockman's (of Boyz II Men) solo record and being on the verge of tears around the time I lost my mom. I fell in love for the 1st time while bumping Lauryn Hill's "Miseducation.." and "Nothing Even Matters" spoke to me in new ways. Teedra Moses' "Be Your Girl" defined an incredible summer in 2004 that was filled with opulent living, excessive drinking, and all around debauchery. I know some of y'all remember.
It's just amazing what music can do for you. There are so many countless memories... All I want to do is define someone else's life through my music in the same way artists have done for me and pay it forward.
Current Playlist
"Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) - Alicia Keys
"Spotlight" - Gucci Mane Feat. Usher
"So Beautiful" - Musiq Soulchild
"Cloud 9" - me
"Only In Dreams" - Weezer
"Rich off Cocaine" - Rick Ross
I'll never forget the summer of '92 because Pete Rock and CL Smooth's "T.R.O.Y" was THAT joint. The minute those horns came in, I'd lose my mind. I can see myself in that awful colored all over print t-shirt with my gold Guess denim shorts and matching NIKE Diamond Turf's with the gold mesh on the side standing in front of Naptale's house kicking rhymes (I thought I was fly, but I wasn't). I'll never forget watching the video to Shawn Stockman's (of Boyz II Men) solo record and being on the verge of tears around the time I lost my mom. I fell in love for the 1st time while bumping Lauryn Hill's "Miseducation.." and "Nothing Even Matters" spoke to me in new ways. Teedra Moses' "Be Your Girl" defined an incredible summer in 2004 that was filled with opulent living, excessive drinking, and all around debauchery. I know some of y'all remember.
It's just amazing what music can do for you. There are so many countless memories... All I want to do is define someone else's life through my music in the same way artists have done for me and pay it forward.
Current Playlist
"Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) - Alicia Keys
"Spotlight" - Gucci Mane Feat. Usher
"So Beautiful" - Musiq Soulchild
"Cloud 9" - me
"Only In Dreams" - Weezer
"Rich off Cocaine" - Rick Ross
Monday, March 1, 2010
Growth Spurt
So as most of you can tell, (all 5 of you) I've been mad emo lately. It is what is, but I'm sitting on this new song which I recorded last week that's pretty BIG. It's very different from what I'm accustomed to making, but it comes from a very genuine place. Since I've been working with the homie Silver, I've been very experimental and free creatively. To our benefit, the end results have been incredible and positively received. I'm not sure most people would have expected a "Cruise Control" or even a "Crazy Chick" from me which were 2 of my favorites from the Invasion. I guess sometimes writing behind bars can be like a life behind bars.
Well I'm free, and it's a dope feeling. I've always said the only things I've ever wanted to do in life were draw and make music, but in doing so lately, I'm aware that I'm growing. I'm no longer afraid to express myself artistically. I've always thought of myself as being free, but I'm realizing that I've limited my music to some invisible genre line. It's like boundary lines on a map; sure there's a distinction but crossing over is literally as simple as crossing over. Well I'm planting my feet all over the place these days and covering new terrain. I hope you enjoy the new sights and sounds as much as I do. Uno
Well I'm free, and it's a dope feeling. I've always said the only things I've ever wanted to do in life were draw and make music, but in doing so lately, I'm aware that I'm growing. I'm no longer afraid to express myself artistically. I've always thought of myself as being free, but I'm realizing that I've limited my music to some invisible genre line. It's like boundary lines on a map; sure there's a distinction but crossing over is literally as simple as crossing over. Well I'm planting my feet all over the place these days and covering new terrain. I hope you enjoy the new sights and sounds as much as I do. Uno
Friday, February 26, 2010
Foreign Formation
It's interesting. After a really inspiring night, I've realized that the roles people play in your life are not always what you want or expect. I think one person I know served as the conduit for another to enter my life. I know what you're thinking; that's always the case and we're always a few degrees separated from someone. In many regards, it's true. This particular situation is weird because it seems to be one of role reversal.
Tonight, I got a glimpse into the future. A very profitable, lucrative, and all around fun future. I've always daydreamed about this so called "future", and what I saw wasn't necessarily what I envisioned. The end goals and results were the same, but the cast members are different. My boy always says, "it's about having the right combination" and I fully understand. It's just tough when your ensemble cast switches in between season. Think how jarring it was when the "new" Aunt Viv joined "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" or when they replaced the Oracle between Matrix films. It's easy to grow comfortable with what you know, but that doesn't always translate into the "best case scenario". Guess everything happens for a reason.
I'll take this chance to shout-out my "anyway" friends and appreciate their roles in this God directed movie we call "Life". "Get the champagne, get the OJ/ We gonna sip on Mimosas okay/ Welcome..."
Tonight, I got a glimpse into the future. A very profitable, lucrative, and all around fun future. I've always daydreamed about this so called "future", and what I saw wasn't necessarily what I envisioned. The end goals and results were the same, but the cast members are different. My boy always says, "it's about having the right combination" and I fully understand. It's just tough when your ensemble cast switches in between season. Think how jarring it was when the "new" Aunt Viv joined "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" or when they replaced the Oracle between Matrix films. It's easy to grow comfortable with what you know, but that doesn't always translate into the "best case scenario". Guess everything happens for a reason.
I'll take this chance to shout-out my "anyway" friends and appreciate their roles in this God directed movie we call "Life". "Get the champagne, get the OJ/ We gonna sip on Mimosas okay/ Welcome..."
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
It's My Anniversary....
So we're a day or two removed from Valentine's Day, which is pretty significant to me. It marks the day that most things in my life flipped topsy turvy.
As wack and as horrible as it sounds, this specific time of year reminds me of what I call the "beginning of the end". My relationship with my ex-girlfriend, who I was with for 4 years, radically changed and ended. All of which I documented in my "Love Hurts Freestyle" (It obviously comes from an biased perspective, but it's my side of the story). Not to be outdone, the place I called home for the greater part of my adult life would no longer be "home". I could go on about the other drama that transpired since, but I won't. Let's just say it's been a transitional year starting February 14th.
Fast forward February 14, 2010, and I woke up pretty depressed. For all the aforementioned reasons, and I felt downright lonely. Not necessarily the loneliness you feel when you're not in a relationship, but more the feeling you're just alone in general. Thank goodness for my homegirl, Val, who I not only had dinner with but also watched the NBA All-Star game with. This simple experience single handily opened me up to a new perspective on what would have otherwise been an awful Valentine's Day. It showed me that it's not so much about your so-called "significant other" than it's about the people you love. I think this was most apparent when a father with his young daughter, holding a rose, sat at the the table besides us for dinner. I saw them an smiled and appreciated my relationship with Val just that much more. You're a golden girl; "thank you for being a friend"
Despite great company, a few drinks, appetizers, a decent meal, and a lackluster ball game, I still feel empty. More so than anything else, this time of year reminds me of when I lost my mom. For me, it's the craziest thing ever because I'm reminded daily of her absence. It's one of those things, that unless you experience it, you really can't relate. You would think 14 years later it would be easier to cope, but it's not. I look at myself and I'm fully aware of how this one experience has shaped me. I'm guessing I've probably blogged about this one too many times, but to put it in perspective let's take a look at every one's favorite pop culture icon Kanye West. We've all accepted his outrageous behavior which was oftentimes comical, but he's obviously a different person after losing his mom. Even Jay Leno called him out on it. I'm not saying this to criticize 'Ye, but simply to illustrate that even in adulthood, losing a parent is life altering. Granted I haven't achieved super stardom, but I think the fact I lost her at 16 more than makes up for it. Point is, it's tough and I miss her a lot. I feel like I need her more than ever, and I don't know where to go for advice, guidance, and that overall feeling of "I'll be there when you fuck up". I can't write anymore.....
As wack and as horrible as it sounds, this specific time of year reminds me of what I call the "beginning of the end". My relationship with my ex-girlfriend, who I was with for 4 years, radically changed and ended. All of which I documented in my "Love Hurts Freestyle" (It obviously comes from an biased perspective, but it's my side of the story). Not to be outdone, the place I called home for the greater part of my adult life would no longer be "home". I could go on about the other drama that transpired since, but I won't. Let's just say it's been a transitional year starting February 14th.
Fast forward February 14, 2010, and I woke up pretty depressed. For all the aforementioned reasons, and I felt downright lonely. Not necessarily the loneliness you feel when you're not in a relationship, but more the feeling you're just alone in general. Thank goodness for my homegirl, Val, who I not only had dinner with but also watched the NBA All-Star game with. This simple experience single handily opened me up to a new perspective on what would have otherwise been an awful Valentine's Day. It showed me that it's not so much about your so-called "significant other" than it's about the people you love. I think this was most apparent when a father with his young daughter, holding a rose, sat at the the table besides us for dinner. I saw them an smiled and appreciated my relationship with Val just that much more. You're a golden girl; "thank you for being a friend"
Despite great company, a few drinks, appetizers, a decent meal, and a lackluster ball game, I still feel empty. More so than anything else, this time of year reminds me of when I lost my mom. For me, it's the craziest thing ever because I'm reminded daily of her absence. It's one of those things, that unless you experience it, you really can't relate. You would think 14 years later it would be easier to cope, but it's not. I look at myself and I'm fully aware of how this one experience has shaped me. I'm guessing I've probably blogged about this one too many times, but to put it in perspective let's take a look at every one's favorite pop culture icon Kanye West. We've all accepted his outrageous behavior which was oftentimes comical, but he's obviously a different person after losing his mom. Even Jay Leno called him out on it. I'm not saying this to criticize 'Ye, but simply to illustrate that even in adulthood, losing a parent is life altering. Granted I haven't achieved super stardom, but I think the fact I lost her at 16 more than makes up for it. Point is, it's tough and I miss her a lot. I feel like I need her more than ever, and I don't know where to go for advice, guidance, and that overall feeling of "I'll be there when you fuck up". I can't write anymore.....
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
You Must...
yeah... so the truth is "You Must Love Me" like the Jay-Z song. I've known this, but it becomes more apparent at some of the most unlikely moments. Despite what I consider childish behavior at times, I see your real emotions. So for every silly FB status you may put up, it's really just an attempt to get my attention. So even if I don't react, I do notice them. And for every wild text message or voicemail you've left me, it shows me that you're not only thinking of me but miss me. For every bizarre question you may ask, it's really your way of asking to be involved. I get it. You can deny it, but I see it.
I had a conversation with a friend recently about one of my favorite couples. There was an incident once where I had to become moderator and help dissolve an issue. Let's just say it was a wild one that almost got physical. I'm not talking domestic violence either folks, but one where the husband was going to whoop another dude's arse. To keep it simple, here's the abridged version of the story...
One night while we were out partying with the wife's co-workers, a co-worker made a slick remark. My homie quickly reacted, and was ready to tear dude's head off. In the end, it created a scene, embarrassed his wife, and ultimately changed how she would approach work related events. Granted, my dude didn't make the best decision in how he reacted considering it involved his wife's career, but I understood the sentiment behind his action. In his mind, he was justifiably defending his wife. Though it wasn't the most appropriate way to handle it, his intent was noble.
The moral of the story is, people express their love in unconventional ways. Sometimes it can be misdirected, misunderstood, and miscommunicated. Sometimes we have to simply look beyond the obvious, and see the intent. Although we may prefer to be smothered with attention, hugs, kisses, and all that good stuff, I can appreciate the less obvious signs like jealousy about my blog posts or the weird messages left in my inbox. It's such a beautiful thing, and I get it.
I had a conversation with a friend recently about one of my favorite couples. There was an incident once where I had to become moderator and help dissolve an issue. Let's just say it was a wild one that almost got physical. I'm not talking domestic violence either folks, but one where the husband was going to whoop another dude's arse. To keep it simple, here's the abridged version of the story...
One night while we were out partying with the wife's co-workers, a co-worker made a slick remark. My homie quickly reacted, and was ready to tear dude's head off. In the end, it created a scene, embarrassed his wife, and ultimately changed how she would approach work related events. Granted, my dude didn't make the best decision in how he reacted considering it involved his wife's career, but I understood the sentiment behind his action. In his mind, he was justifiably defending his wife. Though it wasn't the most appropriate way to handle it, his intent was noble.
The moral of the story is, people express their love in unconventional ways. Sometimes it can be misdirected, misunderstood, and miscommunicated. Sometimes we have to simply look beyond the obvious, and see the intent. Although we may prefer to be smothered with attention, hugs, kisses, and all that good stuff, I can appreciate the less obvious signs like jealousy about my blog posts or the weird messages left in my inbox. It's such a beautiful thing, and I get it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
It's Such A Beautiful Thing Pt. 2
Life is such a funny thing... One of my best friends is someone I literally grew up with. It was a friendship that developed because of many variables. For instance, our families are both made up of Trinidadian immigrants who were not only friends, but shared the same dreams and ambitions. So there was this cultural bond in addition to all things kids love. It went deeper than that too because it's always been a family affair. I call his uncle, "Uncle". We spent holidays together. I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find the yellow Tonka truck his aunt got me for Christmas one year. Long story short, we grew apart. For what reason, no one knows, but we spent a considerable amount of time out of each other lives.
Fast forward to a few years ago. He and I had a really random meeting, and reconnected as if we never missed a beat. As we started catching up, we discovered we shared alot of the same experiences and likes. From going to private high schools to our obsession for all things Ralph Lauren. It's as if we were headed to the same destination, but took different routes. Tragically, he lost his dad, who I knew and have very fond memories of, shortly after. Funny enough, I got to see his dad right before he passed. God is always present y'all because that was a blessing. We even spoke about it after. I thought to myself, was it scripted in the tarot cards that I'd come back in his life to help him cope since losing a parent is also an experience we now share?
So I was with him the other night and thought, "the irony of our situation". Just as we lost contact, reconnected, and are back at one, so are our parents. I thought to myself that his dad and my mom are having a drink in Heaven catching up on old times too. It's such a beautiful thing....
Fast forward to a few years ago. He and I had a really random meeting, and reconnected as if we never missed a beat. As we started catching up, we discovered we shared alot of the same experiences and likes. From going to private high schools to our obsession for all things Ralph Lauren. It's as if we were headed to the same destination, but took different routes. Tragically, he lost his dad, who I knew and have very fond memories of, shortly after. Funny enough, I got to see his dad right before he passed. God is always present y'all because that was a blessing. We even spoke about it after. I thought to myself, was it scripted in the tarot cards that I'd come back in his life to help him cope since losing a parent is also an experience we now share?
So I was with him the other night and thought, "the irony of our situation". Just as we lost contact, reconnected, and are back at one, so are our parents. I thought to myself that his dad and my mom are having a drink in Heaven catching up on old times too. It's such a beautiful thing....
It's Such A Beautiful Thing....
The other night I was out with my dude and his future wife (call it prophecy). It was very interesting to just observe them and watch their interactions. Now I'm not one to put anyone's B-I out there especially when I don't know the deal. So this blog is merely my observation. On one hand there was a visible conflict, but what was less conspicuous to the naked eye, was the love behind the pride. As most couples do, they were going through something. What made me smile though was their subconscious willingness to let go of whatever issue for a period of time and dance together. It wasn't even the act of dancing itself, but the exuberance in both of them as if they had forgotten there was something wrong in the first place. For that short period of time, I literally witnessed pride disappear, love creep in, and love become tangible. BEAUTIFUL!!! I interpreted that as meaning their issue wasn't an issue at all. They're momentarily going through something, but they'll get through whatever it is. We all hurt from time to time and go through our thing, but when we search deep down, we can find truth.
I briefly spoke to my dude afterwards and gave him some advice. Really..that's all. There are moments when God speaks to you, and you're cognizant of all the small tings. This was one of those moments. It's weird though because my brain works in a very associative manner. Needless to say, I started thinking about all sorts of stuff.... relationships, friendships, family, life, mistakes made, and too much to talk about in one post. What I can say though, is that love is a beautiful thing.
While in the studio earlier today, I was building with my homie and he said something that really resonated, "Love is truth".
1
I briefly spoke to my dude afterwards and gave him some advice. Really..that's all. There are moments when God speaks to you, and you're cognizant of all the small tings. This was one of those moments. It's weird though because my brain works in a very associative manner. Needless to say, I started thinking about all sorts of stuff.... relationships, friendships, family, life, mistakes made, and too much to talk about in one post. What I can say though, is that love is a beautiful thing.
While in the studio earlier today, I was building with my homie and he said something that really resonated, "Love is truth".
1
Saturday, January 2, 2010
My Top 10: Songs of 2009
Happy New Year y'all! So everyone is compiling lists of songs and albums of the decade, but not me. I'm sticking to my guns and doing a top ten of the songs which defined my year, and joints I ran into the ground. So here you go...
10. "Pretty Wings" by Maxwell - Here's a song that I wasn't crazy about when it came out, but after a very recent conversation with someone, I heard and felt the joint in a different light. The last few weeks of '09 were all about this joint
9. "His Dream" by Asher Roth - in a genre that rarely produces beautiful songs, here's one. This may be the most genuine parent song since "Dear Mama"... yeah I said it! I personally think considering his audience, this would have been the perfect follow up to " I Love College"
8. "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat Alicia Keys - y'all already know
7. "Lions, Tigers, and Bears" by Jazmine Sullivan - Sorry Drizzy, but I made a mistake and this song is more deserving. I literally ran this song into the ground during the 1st half of the year. No other song has articulated the fear of love like this one...real talk.
6. "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon - here's a song that could either get me excited or on the verge of tears. I always think of only 1 person when I hear this... and I doubt they know it
5. "So Beautiful" by Musiq Soulchild - my ode to a very special person
4. "Fool of Me" by Me'Shell Ndegeocello - Ok, this didn't come out this year' but it sure defined mines. With all the tumultous and heart wrenching moments I experienced this year, this encompassed all my feelings. Listening to it now, I'm taken back to that place...
3. "Best I Ever Had" by Drake -He made the list which is a testament to his incredible songwriting. This song defined my spring & summer... ;-)
2. "Hometown" by me - Yeah, it may seem arrogant or cocky, but I think this is an amazing record. I think it does what many Hip-Hop records can't or will ever do
1. "Fancy" by The Dream - no emotional attachment to this one, but on tough days, it's relaxing and makes me unwind. I play this so religiously, it must be criminal at this point
10. "Pretty Wings" by Maxwell - Here's a song that I wasn't crazy about when it came out, but after a very recent conversation with someone, I heard and felt the joint in a different light. The last few weeks of '09 were all about this joint
9. "His Dream" by Asher Roth - in a genre that rarely produces beautiful songs, here's one. This may be the most genuine parent song since "Dear Mama"... yeah I said it! I personally think considering his audience, this would have been the perfect follow up to " I Love College"
8. "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat Alicia Keys - y'all already know
7. "Lions, Tigers, and Bears" by Jazmine Sullivan - Sorry Drizzy, but I made a mistake and this song is more deserving. I literally ran this song into the ground during the 1st half of the year. No other song has articulated the fear of love like this one...real talk.
6. "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon - here's a song that could either get me excited or on the verge of tears. I always think of only 1 person when I hear this... and I doubt they know it
5. "So Beautiful" by Musiq Soulchild - my ode to a very special person
4. "Fool of Me" by Me'Shell Ndegeocello - Ok, this didn't come out this year' but it sure defined mines. With all the tumultous and heart wrenching moments I experienced this year, this encompassed all my feelings. Listening to it now, I'm taken back to that place...
3. "Best I Ever Had" by Drake -He made the list which is a testament to his incredible songwriting. This song defined my spring & summer... ;-)
2. "Hometown" by me - Yeah, it may seem arrogant or cocky, but I think this is an amazing record. I think it does what many Hip-Hop records can't or will ever do
1. "Fancy" by The Dream - no emotional attachment to this one, but on tough days, it's relaxing and makes me unwind. I play this so religiously, it must be criminal at this point
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Dazed and Confused
As I pack my bags and prepare to spend the holidays with my sister, I'm not very festive. As I look back on '09, I'm actually sort of sad. On one end, I saw my visibility skyrocket because of a controversial music video. I recently dropped a project which is receiving overwhelmingly positive feedback within days of it's release. Best of all, I have a new nephew. That's alot to be happy about. On the other end however, I see fragments of past friendships and relationships that defined a huge part of my decade. Friends became associates and significant others became strangers. It's tough...
I guess I have to embrace this new space I'm in. I see glimmers of light breaking through the door, but I'm frightened to go in. I ask myself, "Have I become complacent and a shell of my former self?" Most people that have known me for a while would probably describe me as an outgoing, ambitious, and free spirited individual. However, I don't know where or when that changed.
Now I find myself re-learning things I once knew. I'm re-learning how to be hungry. I'm re-learning how to love. I'm re-learning alot...
As I write this, I'm suddenly overcome by a feeling of optimism. This is funny... comical even. What started out as a somewhat depressing and random post has slowly morphed into something inspirational; at least from this writer's perspective. Deep down, I'm excited for what the future holds. I've seen more success with the aforementioned projects in a few months than I've seen in a long time. I went out recently, and was reminded of the lasting impression I left on very influential people. If anything, I had an incredible weekend with 2 people that reminded me of what happiness, love, and kindness look like. Thank y'all. It's on.
I need to pay attention to my own music more often because "I've got a ticket to success and it's one way... I'm taking off with no baggage." I just needed to vent...bare with me
I guess I have to embrace this new space I'm in. I see glimmers of light breaking through the door, but I'm frightened to go in. I ask myself, "Have I become complacent and a shell of my former self?" Most people that have known me for a while would probably describe me as an outgoing, ambitious, and free spirited individual. However, I don't know where or when that changed.
Now I find myself re-learning things I once knew. I'm re-learning how to be hungry. I'm re-learning how to love. I'm re-learning alot...
As I write this, I'm suddenly overcome by a feeling of optimism. This is funny... comical even. What started out as a somewhat depressing and random post has slowly morphed into something inspirational; at least from this writer's perspective. Deep down, I'm excited for what the future holds. I've seen more success with the aforementioned projects in a few months than I've seen in a long time. I went out recently, and was reminded of the lasting impression I left on very influential people. If anything, I had an incredible weekend with 2 people that reminded me of what happiness, love, and kindness look like. Thank y'all. It's on.
I need to pay attention to my own music more often because "I've got a ticket to success and it's one way... I'm taking off with no baggage." I just needed to vent...bare with me
Monday, December 21, 2009
Inspire Me
I have a friend that always had the magical ability to inspire me. Truth is, not many people can do that for me, so I always appreciated it. She simply knew how to communicate with me in such a way that I always interpreted things as meaningful. It was never contrived or even intentional. It could be the simplest statement that would be so profound. It's weird because she's still in my cipher, but our dynamic has changed. I miss her....I actually miss her alot.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I see I said
What are you in it for? I know why I'm here, and I know what I want. I'm in it to win!!! After a great night out, I can't help but look at the game a bit different. I was taken back to a time where I was "that dude", and regardless of where I was, I was respected. For quite some time, I thought that was lost.... but it wasn't. As my dude told me, "I have to mend a few broken hearts". That all. I left strong impressions on good people that are still down for me, and it's my turn to make it up to them. I owe that to myself and them. They bought into an idea, and we all deseve to see the actualization of that idea. They knew what it was, they know what it is, and with my newfound focus, nobody's touching me. So good-bye to the doubts, good-bye to the dead weight, and hello to success!!! I'm taking off with no baggage
Real Talk...uno
Real Talk...uno
Monday, December 7, 2009
Unsettled
So I've realized that my blog, which used to consist of music, pop culture happenings, and randomness, has slowly evolved into a open diary. I'm not mad at it either. I guess it's a way for people to really know what's going on in my world besides my ongoing pursuit of music dominance. Well with that said, I'm a bit unsettled. I'm happy, but unsettled. It's also a momentary thing because I'm pretty sure that within an hour or so, I'll be cool. However at 5:17 on Monday, December 7, I have a lot of unanswered questions running through my head. Unfortunately, I won't ask because they're intended for only a few specific individuals. That's where I'm at........
Friday, December 4, 2009
Random Thoughts.......
-People take Facebook waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously; deleting you because of their association to another person. We're not in grade school folks!
-My attraction to Keri Hilson would mean nothing if she wasn't understanding
-Peace to the homie Amir, who I had a great night building with. Steven too
-Alcohol can bring the truth out of people
-"I see I said"
-My 1st video diary may either offend or hurt someone
-Peace to Bille & Jay of MadONLY
-I'm excited about releasing The British Invasion
-Silver is the next big producer in music!! Mark my words...
-I appreciate all my people that ride out with me
-It's unfortunate people no longer respect the brilliant writing of The Simpsons because they're Family Guy'd out!!
-I'll soon be able to announce news that with make people either hate, envy, regret they tried to play me, or be incredibly proud
-Shouts to my new manager; we're taking this "to the bank"
-"to the rest of y'all throwing shots at Shake/ You only get half a bar, FUCK y'all fakes"
-My attraction to Keri Hilson would mean nothing if she wasn't understanding
-Peace to the homie Amir, who I had a great night building with. Steven too
-Alcohol can bring the truth out of people
-"I see I said"
-My 1st video diary may either offend or hurt someone
-Peace to Bille & Jay of MadONLY
-I'm excited about releasing The British Invasion
-Silver is the next big producer in music!! Mark my words...
-I appreciate all my people that ride out with me
-It's unfortunate people no longer respect the brilliant writing of The Simpsons because they're Family Guy'd out!!
-I'll soon be able to announce news that with make people either hate, envy, regret they tried to play me, or be incredibly proud
-Shouts to my new manager; we're taking this "to the bank"
-"to the rest of y'all throwing shots at Shake/ You only get half a bar, FUCK y'all fakes"
Monday, November 30, 2009
Relevance
One of my closest friends just lost her grandmother. I know it's heart-wrenching. At moments like these, we're forced to look at the roles people play in our lives and their relevance. I'm a firm believer that most people don't realize what they have until it's gone. I never understood why it would take losing something to appreciate that same thing. Truth is, I'm guilty of it too. However, I think once I lost my mom, my entire perspective changed. But even though I learned one of life's toughest lesson's, I find myself in the remedial refresher course more often than I'd like. I guess the real lesson wasn't so much about never taking things for granted rather than being mindful. So I get it. I think I may have even passed the class with a decent grade, but the real question is, did you?
So to my homie, my heart goes out to you. I understand, and you've got a great support system besides myself to hold you down. To the others that may read this, don't let a bad circumstance remind you of what you've got. Lauryn Hill said "Tell'em...tell'em you love them, tell'em you need them." Be mindful
A few of my close friends come to mind right now, and to y'all, I send the same message. I understand, and I'm rocking out with you. 1 L-O-V-E
PS: Listening to Kanye's "Say You Will"
So to my homie, my heart goes out to you. I understand, and you've got a great support system besides myself to hold you down. To the others that may read this, don't let a bad circumstance remind you of what you've got. Lauryn Hill said "Tell'em...tell'em you love them, tell'em you need them." Be mindful
A few of my close friends come to mind right now, and to y'all, I send the same message. I understand, and I'm rocking out with you. 1 L-O-V-E
PS: Listening to Kanye's "Say You Will"
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