Clueless: The Relationship Edition

So after a lengthy convo with my bestie, T, I've realized that I'm severely lacking in the area of male/female relations. Now all things considered, I understand the whole women are from Venus/men are from Mars thing. However, I'm on an entirely different plane. I've had to seriously ask myself, "what contributes to this shortcoming"?

So after alot of thought, a couple failed relationships, and even more blank stares, I've come up with a few hypotheses. First is the fact that I'm clueless. Unless a girl is overtly blatant in her attempts to get my attention, I probably won't notice. Furthermore, even if she gets it, I'm too naive to think it's anything more than casual convo. Flirting translates as nothing to me because I think 75% of women do it for kicks without any genuine interest in the dude. (such evil games you women play & this stat comes from my observations while out drinking)

Secondly, I attended an all boys high school. There were obvious academic advantages to this. Plus I'm a firm believer that if you add woman to any equation, the nature of men and their behavior change. But when I think about this now, I realized that I missed out on crucial social interactions during an even more critical developmental stage; puberty. DAMN!!! Although I dated and was pretty popular at the neighboring all girl schools, this ultimately means that I missed out on tons of buns. It's a good thing though. I'm a better guy for it, and I'm not a man whore like some of my other friends. On the flip side, I've also been a serial monogamist.

In all reality I've never had problems with girls liking me or finding decent girls to date, but I know something is off. For example, I've been in, let's say 3, "real" relationships and in all cases the girls pursued me. Regardless of how charming or cool I may see myself, I think there's something awkward with never having chased a girl. It's created a lackadaisical and even more clueless person that expects to be chased instead of the other way around.

So now In adulthood, I find myself not knowing how to properly deal with women. Can I spark convo, get a number, and get laid? Sure!! However it seems as if more is missing. What happens when a woman throws weird signals, like they typically do, or plays "hard to get"? I'm the type that will fall back and assume there's nothing instead of being the aggressor.

I've always subscribed to the "be yourself & keep it honest" aesthetic in which you're vocal about your feelings. Thing is, in adulthood, people still play games!!! (Oh yes they do!) There's this unspoken power struggle instead of "ok I feel you too. What's next." I just never understood the reason for the trivial games.

I'm almost positive there have been women that were into me and I had no clue! Actually... I remember girls at different times, usually the most uneventful, telling me they either had crushes on me, were goo goo ga ga over me, or straight thought "I could get it". Thing is, I know myself. I've never been the smooth dude. I've always been the cool/swaggerific dude, but never the smooth dude. So where does that leave me now? Still clueless...

Sigh... Lol. JOKES!!!
There you have it!! Discuss it, debate it, share it, and laugh!!

Soundtrack of my Life

Music has an incredible way of defining my life. Just about every significant moment I've ever experienced is directly linked to a song. I can typically tell how much I feel a chick if certain songs begin to speak to me, as if I'm living vicariously through the artist. In the same breath, I can tell when I'm over someone when the song doesn't hold any more sentimental attachment. If the person was meaningful enough, it will always be there though. Relationship stuff aside, I can remember where I was, what I was wearing, who I was chilling with, and so much more based on music.

I'll never forget the summer of '92 because Pete Rock and CL Smooth's "T.R.O.Y" was THAT joint. The minute those horns came in, I'd lose my mind. I can see myself in that awful colored all over print t-shirt with my gold Guess denim shorts and matching NIKE Diamond Turf's with the gold mesh on the side standing in front of Naptale's house kicking rhymes (I thought I was fly, but I wasn't). I'll never forget watching the video to Shawn Stockman's (of Boyz II Men) solo record and being on the verge of tears around the time I lost my mom. I fell in love for the 1st time while bumping Lauryn Hill's "Miseducation.." and "Nothing Even Matters" spoke to me in new ways. Teedra Moses' "Be Your Girl" defined an incredible summer in 2004 that was filled with opulent living, excessive drinking, and all around debauchery. I know some of y'all remember.

It's just amazing what music can do for you. There are so many countless memories... All I want to do is define someone else's life through my music in the same way artists have done for me and pay it forward.

Current Playlist
"Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) - Alicia Keys
"Spotlight" - Gucci Mane Feat. Usher
"So Beautiful" - Musiq Soulchild
"Cloud 9" - me
"Only In Dreams" - Weezer
"Rich off Cocaine" - Rick Ross

You Must...

yeah... so the truth is "You Must Love Me" like the Jay-Z song. I've known this, but it becomes more apparent at some of the most unlikely moments. Despite what I consider childish behavior at times, I see your real emotions. So for every silly FB status you may put up, it's really just an attempt to get my attention. So even if I don't react, I do notice them. And for every wild text message or voicemail you've left me, it shows me that you're not only thinking of me but miss me. For every bizarre question you may ask, it's really your way of asking to be involved. I get it. You can deny it, but I see it.

I had a conversation with a friend recently about one of my favorite couples. There was an incident once where I had to become moderator and help dissolve an issue. Let's just say it was a wild one that almost got physical. I'm not talking domestic violence either folks, but one where the husband was going to whoop another dude's arse. To keep it simple, here's the abridged version of the story...
One night while we were out partying with the wife's co-workers, a co-worker made a slick remark. My homie quickly reacted, and was ready to tear dude's head off. In the end, it created a scene, embarrassed his wife, and ultimately changed how she would approach work related events. Granted, my dude didn't make the best decision in how he reacted considering it involved his wife's career, but I understood the sentiment behind his action. In his mind, he was justifiably defending his wife. Though it wasn't the most appropriate way to handle it, his intent was noble.

The moral of the story is, people express their love in unconventional ways. Sometimes it can be misdirected, misunderstood, and miscommunicated. Sometimes we have to simply look beyond the obvious, and see the intent. Although we may prefer to be smothered with attention, hugs, kisses, and all that good stuff, I can appreciate the less obvious signs like jealousy about my blog posts or the weird messages left in my inbox. It's such a beautiful thing, and I get it.

It's Such A Beautiful Thing Pt. 2

Life is such a funny thing... One of my best friends is someone I literally grew up with. It was a friendship that developed because of many variables. For instance, our families are both made up of Trinidadian immigrants who were not only friends, but shared the same dreams and ambitions. So there was this cultural bond in addition to all things kids love. It went deeper than that too because it's always been a family affair. I call his uncle, "Uncle". We spent holidays together. I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find the yellow Tonka truck his aunt got me for Christmas one year. Long story short, we grew apart. For what reason, no one knows, but we spent a considerable amount of time out of each other lives.

Fast forward to a few years ago. He and I had a really random meeting, and reconnected as if we never missed a beat. As we started catching up, we discovered we shared alot of the same experiences and likes. From going to private high schools to our obsession for all things Ralph Lauren. It's as if we were headed to the same destination, but took different routes. Tragically, he lost his dad, who I knew and have very fond memories of, shortly after. Funny enough, I got to see his dad right before he passed. God is always present y'all because that was a blessing. We even spoke about it after. I thought to myself, was it scripted in the tarot cards that I'd come back in his life to help him cope since losing a parent is also an experience we now share?

So I was with him the other night and thought, "the irony of our situation". Just as we lost contact, reconnected, and are back at one, so are our parents. I thought to myself that his dad and my mom are having a drink in Heaven catching up on old times too. It's such a beautiful thing....

It's Such A Beautiful Thing....

The other night I was out with my dude and his future wife (call it prophecy). It was very interesting to just observe them and watch their interactions. Now I'm not one to put anyone's B-I out there especially when I don't know the deal. So this blog is merely my observation. On one hand there was a visible conflict, but what was less conspicuous to the naked eye, was the love behind the pride. As most couples do, they were going through something. What made me smile though was their subconscious willingness to let go of whatever issue for a period of time and dance together. It wasn't even the act of dancing itself, but the exuberance in both of them as if they had forgotten there was something wrong in the first place. For that short period of time, I literally witnessed pride disappear, love creep in, and love become tangible. BEAUTIFUL!!! I interpreted that as meaning their issue wasn't an issue at all. They're momentarily going through something, but they'll get through whatever it is. We all hurt from time to time and go through our thing, but when we search deep down, we can find truth.

I briefly spoke to my dude afterwards and gave him some advice. Really..that's all. There are moments when God speaks to you, and you're cognizant of all the small tings. This was one of those moments. It's weird though because my brain works in a very associative manner. Needless to say, I started thinking about all sorts of stuff.... relationships, friendships, family, life, mistakes made, and too much to talk about in one post. What I can say though, is that love is a beautiful thing.

While in the studio earlier today, I was building with my homie and he said something that really resonated, "Love is truth".

1

Dazed and Confused

As I pack my bags and prepare to spend the holidays with my sister, I'm not very festive. As I look back on '09, I'm actually sort of sad. On one end, I saw my visibility skyrocket because of a controversial music video. I recently dropped a project which is receiving overwhelmingly positive feedback within days of it's release. Best of all, I have a new nephew. That's alot to be happy about. On the other end however, I see fragments of past friendships and relationships that defined a huge part of my decade. Friends became associates and significant others became strangers. It's tough...

I guess I have to embrace this new space I'm in. I see glimmers of light breaking through the door, but I'm frightened to go in. I ask myself, "Have I become complacent and a shell of my former self?" Most people that have known me for a while would probably describe me as an outgoing, ambitious, and free spirited individual. However, I don't know where or when that changed.

Now I find myself re-learning things I once knew. I'm re-learning how to be hungry. I'm re-learning how to love. I'm re-learning alot...

As I write this, I'm suddenly overcome by a feeling of optimism. This is funny... comical even. What started out as a somewhat depressing and random post has slowly morphed into something inspirational; at least from this writer's perspective. Deep down, I'm excited for what the future holds. I've seen more success with the aforementioned projects in a few months than I've seen in a long time. I went out recently, and was reminded of the lasting impression I left on very influential people. If anything, I had an incredible weekend with 2 people that reminded me of what happiness, love, and kindness look like. Thank y'all. It's on.

I need to pay attention to my own music more often because "I've got a ticket to success and it's one way... I'm taking off with no baggage." I just needed to vent...bare with me

Overstanding

Earlier I peeped a tweet that said "being happy is a matter of being thankful". How true... I recently spoke to one of my many little sisters, and we were discussing how people can be ungrateful. I know we all take things for granted from time to time; it's human nature. However, one of the worst feeling ever is being taken for granted. So the next time someone does something for you; gives you advice, exercises their generosity, or turns the other cheek, be thankful. Be thankful that at every moment, you could be in a situation worse than your current one. Enjoy life...happiness is what you make it!!!

Moral Dilema

Today my character was tested. I received a message inquiring about someone I know, and I became the gateway to an opportunity for them. However this person and I no longer speak, and I believe their most recent actions have proven to be quite juvenile. Long story short, it was an issue of our personal drama versus their professional advancement. Without going into detail about either situation, I did what I felt was right.

I think deep down, my issue wasn't whether or not I would help, but would they ever do the same if put in a similar situation. Based on their recent actions, or lack thereof, I'd have to say no. However, as an adult, I'm aware that you shouldn't be motivated by returns on your personal/emotional investments, although most people are. In my previous entries, I've recently discussed searching for clarity and happiness while finding balance by following my instincts. I'd be lying if I said a part of me didn't think twice about shutting the situation down, but I knew it would be wrong. This is easily a scenario where my anger and resentment could have gotten the best of me, but I didn't let it. I say all of this because it taught me something about myself during an incredibly trying time.

By no means am I trying to pat myself on the back, nor do I feel I'll earn doble karma points for my actions. In this game we call life, we should do what is right because it is, and I was reminded of that today. This particular indiviual will likely never come across this post or even know how intergral I was in helping them get one of their biggest "looks" in recent memory. The thought that they'd probably never acknowledge or appreciate my role in this whole thing is a bit unsettling, but I'm happy for them nonetheless.

Clarity

For some time now, I've been very aware that certain thing in my life aren't straight. Not to say that's it's disorganized or in complete disarray, but I know some areas need tweaking. I think back in February I began my expedition to find both clarity and happiness. Unfortunately, some people were hurt along the way. It was the furthest thing from my intentions, but I've fully come to realize that you can't run away from your conscience. That little voice contributes so much to our character, and it won't lie to you. You can fight it, try to supress it, deny it, create alternate rationalities, and/ or continue with the fuckery, but that "truth" is inescapabale. So after doing all of the aforementioned, I've decided to attentively listen.

More and more I find myself following my gut. There have been quite a few instances where the people closest to me have disagreed with my actions, but no one is more aware of my feelings than I am. So instead of running away from those gut intstincts, I embrace them and run towards it. I'm in a different place now. I'm no longer in denial.

"I've got a ticket to success and it's one way. My plane is on the runway... I'm taking off with no baggage."

Truth...

In a previous blog entry, I used a quote which I think should be used again. So here it goes...

"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time."
-- Sara Paddison

Here's another personal joint I never leaked

"Love Is Like A Movie" - DOWNLOAD

Missing You

Today has been a crazy day to say the least. Around 12 AM I got great news. Somewhere around 9 AM, I got even more fantastic news. Finally around 12:30 PM, I received quite possibly the best news of the day; my sister was ready to have the baby. Congrats to her, my brother-in-law, and the entire family because we have a new edition. As I sat in the hospital room with her though, I couldn't escape a feeling of emptiness. It was joyous on so many levels, but for me, it was bittersweet. Something was missing.

By no means was I going to be the kill joy and ruin the moment, but I was definitely missing my mom. There have been many moments where I wished she was alive to simply witness, partake in, and be around for including my sister's wedding, my graduation, and many lesser things like meeting my girlfriends. However, today must have been one of the toughest. My mom would always say "I just want to see you grow and become a man", but unfortunately she never could since losing her at 16. In some round about way though, I think that same growth she wanted to see in me is directly correlated to being around for the birth of her grandchildren. I was overcome by such strong feeling, I literally held back my tears. The only person I knew that could relate to me was either my sister or my boy Soo Kim. Soo Kim couldn't be reached and obviously I wouldn't bring it up to my sister, but I can't help but think that similar thoughts ran through her mind.

I'm not trying to put a damper on a wondrous occasions because I'm as ecstatic as anyone. I'm happy for my sister and grateful for the personal sacrifices I feel she has made for me. I think I'm simply reminded of my mom at a time like this, and I wish she was still around.

Mommy, I love you. I miss you. I know you're still watching over me and guiding us, but there are moments I wish you were here in the physical form. I think writing this will make me cry, but XOXO. I love you. Just know that I'm cognizant of your presence and blessings

As for you Jason, "Despite my stress dude, I'm plotting my next move cause I gotta win for my newborn nephew." Uncle Shake has got you.

Growing Pains

The last 24 hours of my life have been the most tumultuous in recent memory. I can't remember feeling so much inner turmoil, confusion, and a cluster fuck of other emotions all at once. However, I am inspired. I've been meaning to blog about this for a while, but never got around to it. Not sure I'm in the mood to do it now, but I can say that I find solace in the fact that I'm planning the most epic release for any of my projects. The British Invasion is THAT deal, and I think a lot of people will be surprised. Beyond that, I think I've created my greatest body of work thus far. I also enjoy the fact that my own music is inspiring me. Typically I find inspiration in other music because I'm a still a fan, but these days listening to my own songs have been therapeutic. It's weird, but it confirms I'm doing something right. I'm living vicariously through myself....JOKES!!! I'll leave you with few quotables in addition to a few songs.

"You don't control my destiny, so I figured why let'em get the best of me. Haters tried to play me like a checker piece, but I'm more strategic. It's more like chess to me." me - "Keep On" from The British Invasion

"And as for the critics, tell me I don't get it. Everybody could tell you how to do it, they never did." Jay-Z "Already Home"

Here's an unreleased joint

Good Bye (prod. by the RL) - DOWNLOAD

Friend Request : Denied

I've been slow to come around, but I'm finally using all the major social networking sites. Thing is, I can't stand them... well not completely. Over the past few days I've been giving serious thought to my personal criteria for "friendship" on these sites. So if you are uninitiated but happen to come across this blog entry, please give it a read before friend requesting me.

Myspace
I really dislike one, and rarely update anything including music. I may check it from time to time, but not enough to consider myself truly on it. My major gripe with Myspace is that it's a free for all. Anyone, and everyone (which usually consists of upstart musicians with artist pages) want to befriend you. I'm not upset at the selfless promotion, but if you're going to ask me to be a "friend", you should at least message me. I hate all these blind requests which are followed by spamming unimportant bulletins. I stopped adding people after the 600+ mark, and I don't understand why I should see anyone's single bulletin posted 20 consecutive times. So if I do know you, and you'd like to be my friend on Myspace, you should 1)message me and 2)not post senseless bulletins.

Facebook
Now this one I really do like, and that's because it does everything Myspace failed to do. Not only do you get "friend suggestions", but you can actually trace your relationship to people based on mutual friends. So despite my page not working right now, I'm frequently on FB. It just happens to do everything right. You can see everyone's updates/statuses and they aren't intrusive. You can easily communicate with all your peeps and actually rest assured they're your peeps. I can't pinpoint any one thing that makes it great, but it just seems to work. If you'd like to friend me, search me by gov't name. ALSO...join the fan page.

Twitter
I was definitely late to the party on this one, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I questioned the functionality of Twitter altogether because I can already tell people what I'm doing with my FB status. However, over the past few days I've realized the difference. People are overly obsessive with their tweets. 1) I don't care what color pajamas you're wearing, 2) I don't care about every artist/song title in the playlist you're currently listening to, and 3) I really don't care for your sports anchor-esque play by play recap of whatever function your at. Now I am guilty of at least one of these things, but I have since learned better. I've come to the realization that just because I may "friend" you on FB doesn't secure me "following" you on Twitter. Actually, I'm aiming to follow only 100-150 people total on Twitter. Whereas Facebook has a way of re-uniting old friends which makes me smile, Twitter can easily remind you why you lost contact or grew apart in the 1st place. So if you choose to follow me, cool. If I choose to follow you, and you one day realize I'm no longer following you; don't take in offensive. You can probably assume you gave away just a tad bit too much information too often.

By the way, subscribe to my blog gosh darn it

According to P

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for", and I couldn't agree more. Thanks P, even if I just quoted your email status. LOL

How Do You Measure A Person's Character?

In recent weeks I been reassessing the relationships I've built with people I consider friends, acquaintances, and everyone else in my circle. In an attempt to start '09 the right way, I figured it was necessary to not only look at others, but also myself.

I've always told myself that if you have a friend, and you know they're a liar, you can't be mad when you catch them in a lie. You simply have to accept them for who they are, and just be cautious. Point is, you can't change people. Does that mean you should never trust them or they're "bad" people? Well this is the very question I've been contemplating lately.

For instance, for many years my father and I had a very tumultuous relationship. To be quite honest, I'm not quite sure it could've been considered a relationship. I documented the entire ordeal in a song called "Daddy Dearest" many years ago. To make a long story short, after returning from a school retreat, I came home to a partially empty house. He had moved out, but what made it all the more difficult was the fact my mother had died a few months prior. So here am I am at 16 without any parents.

After everything happened, as would be expected, I held a lot of resentment towards my father. Somewhere along the line, I realized I needed to stop holding negative feelings towards him. The strange thing is, around the same time, he came back in my life. I guess he realized his mistakes, and figured it was time to make amends. Truthfully I don't know, but as it stands now, we have a great relationship.

My point is, do you judge a person purely on the basis of their actions? In certain instances you can, but most times, no. It wouldn't be fair unless you looked at all the factors that contributed to their actions. In the instance of my father, I think to myself, here is a man that realized his mistakes, accepted accountability, and made a conscious effort to rectify the situation. Does that mean his actions weren't F'd up. No, but how can I not look at everything in totality. So I've never outright articulated it, but I forgave him.

I say all of this because I'm once again reminded that you can't measure a person purely on what they do or don't do, but how willing they are to accept accountability for their actions. So I'll leave with this quote by Sara Paddison, “Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

They Say The Eyes Are The Keys To The Soul

Life is a such a funny thing. People come in and out of your life at random moments, but you never know why. For instance, I recently reunited with a childhood friend and in recent months we've become really close again. He recently had a loss in the family, and it makes me wonder if I was brought back into his life to help him cope. I have another friend who also lost someone, and it made me realize I have to be a better friend. Not because of the loss, but because just as Jay said, "Nobody will fall because everybody will be each others crutches." I learned along time ago that that having a strong support system can get you through almost anything. On the flip side of the coin I feel incredibly distant from people I consider very close friends, and its tough. Typically I have no problems cutting people off, not because I'm an ass but I've grown accustomed to losing people. When you lose your mom at 16 and your father is gone by 17, you learn to deal. Regardless, its incredibly tough when you know you have to let go of friends for whatever reason, son.

My Top 10: Songs I Wish I Wrote

I'm back!!! Happy New Year to all, and I hope '09 will bring everyone great times, lots of laughter, more money, and a step closer to actualizing your potential. Being my 1st post for the year, I figured I'd set it off with one of my lists... so here we go.

10. Lions, Tigers, and Bears by Jazmine Sullivan (off of her debut, Fearless)
Okay, so this is a new song, but I thinks its beautiful. It sounds orchestral, yet minimal. I really wish I could have articulated the "fear of love" the way she did. I think anyone that's ever truly opened their heart can relate to this at some point, and its presented from a unique & fresh perspective.

9. Superstar 2 by Usher (off of Confessions)
So this is a simple, but dope metaphor comparing your significant other to a superstar. With lyrics like "I'll be your groupie baby cause you are my superstar. I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph, and sign it right here on my heart." DOPE!! It was one of those joints that really made me say, "Why didn't I think of it first."

8. Stan by Eminem (off the Marshall Mathers LP)
Here is a song that is very much in the scope of something I could have thought of and written, but to be honest, I doubt it would have been executed as well. I wouldn't have thought to flip a Dido song, and it probably wouldn't have had such a climactic ending. Props to Em for penning one of the best Hip-Hop songs in recent memory. Everything from his inflections to his his rhyme schemes were brilliant.

7. Stray Bullet by Organized Konfusion (off Stress: The Extinction Agenda)
Despite many people thinking NaS was the first to use personification in regards to a gun on "I Gave You Power", any self respecting Hip-Hop fan knows Prince Po & Pharoahe did it 2-3 years earlier. AND, in my opinion, they did it better. They literally talked about the bullet's trajectory. C'mon, you gotta give it up.

6. She's All I Got by Jimmy Cozier
Back when J Records was all the rage because Clive Davis started his own label, he had another dope songwriter besides Alicia Keys. His name was Jimmy and he crafted the perfect ode for dudes that have headaches for girlfriends, but love them. I still play this song religiously because I can relate.

5. Prototype by Andre 3000
"I hope that you're the one. If not, you're the prototype." Genius! I wish I thought of that one because I would have used that as game on every girl I ever met. LOL. Seriously though, another amazing record written from a dope perspective.

4. Ordinary People by John Legend
I will never forget the first time I heard this song. There's not much I can say about this one other than he hit the nail on the head. With the current state of music, I didn't think anyone could write anything this beautiful. He proved me wrong.

3. Dear Mama by 2Pac
This song dropped right around the time I lost my mom, and every time I heard it I was on the verge of tears. I'm a huge Pac fan because he wasn't afraid to be vulnerable, and this song epitomized that notion. Since the release of this song there have been lots of "mama" dedications, but none of them tugged on our heart strings the way Pac's did. It was remarkably genuine, and to me, stands as his career defining song.

2. Next Lifetime by Erykah Badu
No one has ever captured such a universal sentiment the way this song did. I don't know anyone that can deny that they've been in this predicament before. The conflict of being in a relationship, and still being attracted to someone is else is part of the maturation process and discovering yourself. Besides the lyrics, the song was smooth, melodic, and downright brilliant. Kudos

1. Ribbon in the Sky by Stevie Wonder
This is the single most beautiful song I've ever heard. I'm green with envy.

This list also confirms that I'm a frustrated singer trapped in a rapper's body. Oh well

While On My Hiatus...

I've been thinking about alot, and obviously music is at the forefront of my mind. I've been reassessing what I've accomplished in the past few months, and I appreciate everything all the blogs and fans have done to help me get here. To say I was flattered when I found a thread titled "The Incomparable Shakespeare is ILL" on Nobodysmiling is a complete understatement. Just seeing how folks started co-signing more and more as weeks went by meant the world to me, so thank you. Thanks Meka, Shake, BK Cyph, Junie, Young Legend, Jason, Billie, Forrest, Large, DJ Daddy Mack, Timm, Jay Smooth, and everybody that contributed. But even with making a cool run from September to November on the blogs and net, I'm even more optimistic for '09. Since the holidays began, I figured I'd fall back a bit. I've looked at what was successful, what could have been executed better, and where I failed. If I were to give myself a grade, it would probably be a B. By all measures that's acceptable, but remember you're talking to someone who graduated Summa Cum Laude. So through my eyes, there's room for a lot of improvement. See you in a bit. Happy Holidays. 1

The President Elect

"I don't care what the naysayers may say
but I swear Barack Obama is the gateway
to black kids not following everything Jay say.
Not Jay Smooth, but Jay-Z or Kay Slay.
Not trying to sell drugs or AKs.
Not trying to act thug just to save face.
It'll be acceptable to pass 8th grade,
high school, college, and get an MBA
without ever shooting for the NBA
and I'll choose that option on any day"

-Destiny (Election '08)

November 4th marked a historic moment that will go down in the annals of world history. I've heard some people say "this election was easily the most important in their lifetime". Others have said "Obama winning is the realization of Dr. King's dream", and while I agree, I'm not surprised he won. President Elect Obama represents so much to so many, but the reason he won was simple. He embodies the spirit of a changing society, a changing world, and ultimately hope for a better future.

When an official government website url is entitled change, it becomes blatantly apparent that you're dealing with a man of the future. The paradigm has shifted, and all the archaic conventions of previous politicians, their practices, and fuckery are behind us. Similarly to Tupac, I am not going to prematurely call him a God-send, but I will admit that he is one with the times which keeps me optimistic. He seems to be on the pulse of everything that's relevant, and seemingly understands the needs of people. Whereas George W. played on our insecurities after 9/11 to secure another term, Barack seems to have a certain sincerity that has captured us all.

I'm hopeful for the changes that may be brought about during his tenure in office, but I'm most excited about the social impact he already has and will continue to have. So many times I've walked from the train station home, which is in the hood, and I see interracial couples. I usually think to myself that this is a beautiful sight because, at least in my estimation, we're 2 generations removed from a world where race will be a moot point. Although racism will still exist because there will always be extremist, we live in different times. We live in a world where technology has broken geographic and communication barriers which really creates "the melting pot" we've so long heard of. There's a kid in Queensbridge right now listening to French Hip-Hop, and chatting with a friend living in Russia who he/she has never met, but they are bound by similar interest. Barack Obama is like the physical manifestation of this very notion. He embodies the movement towards a focus on humanity rather than individuality, and that to me, is the key.

On an micro level, Barack as President will have a positive impact on inner city children. I've always said that Hip-Hop has a way of instilling ambition in people that come from situations that would likely not. However, its a misdirected ambition. Its ambition to be like a rapper, an athlete, or a false caricature of what they think a businessperson is: a hustler. For the 1st time in a while, we have someone in the spotlight that is willing to embrace their status as a role model and assume responsibility. For this reason alone, he gets my co-sign. Although it already exists, there will be an increased number of children growing up in poverty that will no longer see entertainment or sports as an easy out, but rather aspire to be politicians, journalists, psychologists, teachers, plumbers, or any other self respecting profession.

Part 2 of this blog-essay coming as soon as I collect my thoughts. 1

Just My Thoughts Pt. 2

I feel like I haven't blogged about much other than music lately. I guess its safe to say this is indicative of where my head is, but I've been thinking about a lot lately. For one, I've realized that blogs have become the new mixtape. No longer can DJs, websites, or print magazines even keep up anymore. The pure nature of blogging lends itself to constant streams of info & content, giving it the advantage. Secondly, since becoming a part of this world, I've realized that people consume music incredibly fast. We've literally become a fast food nation, and people no longer take the time to appreciate music. All in all, this fears me. Although I'm a part of this movement, I feel like I have to do something to actively change how people consume music. That all....