Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My Insomnia Worsens...

I'm either on the brink of insanity or the cusp of greatness. I'd obviously like to believe its the latter, but this severe case of insomnia is kicking my you know what. I can't sleep! I'll turn off the lights, get in bed, close my eyes, and even try "self-taught" meditation. None of it works. Its been going on for months now.

There are just too many thoughts running amok in my head. I don't think watching Being John Malkovich on Netflix a few hours ago helped either. Between figuring out a studio situation, planning video shoots, coming to terms with strained friendships, incorporating a business, managing my career, figuring out how I'm going to magically finance all these endeavors while having money left over to eat, and find time to visit my nephew; it's getting progressively harder to balance things.

The absolute worst part of it all, is that I feel like I'm doing it myself. The other day, I called one of my closest friends and basically screamed on her for dropping the ball on plan/pact we had made. Then, I have other friends that are so preoccupied and self absorbed, they never ask the question, "does he need my help or can I assist him?" Yet, these same folks always ask things of me. I'm not mad, but I'm a firm believer that D.I.Y doesn't have to mean doing it alone. For the sake of clarification, this is a generalization, and not indicative of everyone I know. I'll always be able to count on Bert, Exlib, Val, & JB for sure. Its just disheartening when people in the same industry don't move together as a unit.

Sorry that I went off on a crazy tangent, but back to my insomnia. The biggest drawback is that fact that when I do finally get some sleep, by the time I wake up, I'm flustered, half the day has passed, I forget to do certain things, and I'm scrambling to catch up. It's really posing a serious problem for me at this point which is further indicated by the fact that I'm typing this at 6:47AM EST....

That is all. Good morning :)

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