Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Clueless: The Relationship Edition

So after a lengthy convo with my bestie, T, I've realized that I'm severely lacking in the area of male/female relations. Now all things considered, I understand the whole women are from Venus/men are from Mars thing. However, I'm on an entirely different plane. I've had to seriously ask myself, "what contributes to this shortcoming"?

So after alot of thought, a couple failed relationships, and even more blank stares, I've come up with a few hypotheses. First is the fact that I'm clueless. Unless a girl is overtly blatant in her attempts to get my attention, I probably won't notice. Furthermore, even if she gets it, I'm too naive to think it's anything more than casual convo. Flirting translates as nothing to me because I think 75% of women do it for kicks without any genuine interest in the dude. (such evil games you women play & this stat comes from my observations while out drinking)

Secondly, I attended an all boys high school. There were obvious academic advantages to this. Plus I'm a firm believer that if you add woman to any equation, the nature of men and their behavior change. But when I think about this now, I realized that I missed out on crucial social interactions during an even more critical developmental stage; puberty. DAMN!!! Although I dated and was pretty popular at the neighboring all girl schools, this ultimately means that I missed out on tons of buns. It's a good thing though. I'm a better guy for it, and I'm not a man whore like some of my other friends. On the flip side, I've also been a serial monogamist.

In all reality I've never had problems with girls liking me or finding decent girls to date, but I know something is off. For example, I've been in, let's say 3, "real" relationships and in all cases the girls pursued me. Regardless of how charming or cool I may see myself, I think there's something awkward with never having chased a girl. It's created a lackadaisical and even more clueless person that expects to be chased instead of the other way around.

So now In adulthood, I find myself not knowing how to properly deal with women. Can I spark convo, get a number, and get laid? Sure!! However it seems as if more is missing. What happens when a woman throws weird signals, like they typically do, or plays "hard to get"? I'm the type that will fall back and assume there's nothing instead of being the aggressor.

I've always subscribed to the "be yourself & keep it honest" aesthetic in which you're vocal about your feelings. Thing is, in adulthood, people still play games!!! (Oh yes they do!) There's this unspoken power struggle instead of "ok I feel you too. What's next." I just never understood the reason for the trivial games.

I'm almost positive there have been women that were into me and I had no clue! Actually... I remember girls at different times, usually the most uneventful, telling me they either had crushes on me, were goo goo ga ga over me, or straight thought "I could get it". Thing is, I know myself. I've never been the smooth dude. I've always been the cool/swaggerific dude, but never the smooth dude. So where does that leave me now? Still clueless...

Sigh... Lol. JOKES!!!
There you have it!! Discuss it, debate it, share it, and laugh!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm a 60's baby so I'm quite a bit older than you, but when you meet a woman that appeals to you and makes you go "hmmm" you most certainly will be the flirter, chaser, aggressor. It will also most likely happen when you least expect it.