As you may know, most of my blog entries are usually sparked by a conversation, and this one is no different. While talking to a friend about relationships, I said something along the lines that "every relationship can be reduced to one single commonality that will bind the 2 people for ever."
I firmly believe this to be true, so let me explain. I have a friend, who in many ways is like family. I don't speak to him very often, but we are ALWAYS there for each other in time of need. Funny thing is, the relationship began because of a shared experienced that shaped us forever. He lost his dad, and shortly after, I lost my mom. In retrospect, the circumstances of our losses were similar. Both of our parents were our only foundation, so in losing them, we lost almost everything. There was a mutual heartache, void, and understanding, that only we were able to communicate to each other. Now I understand that many people experience the loss of loved ones, but at 16 & 17, I don't believe many understood the process of maturing while living your life by trial and error. In many ways that is the cohesive thread that bound us, and still keeps us close. Ultimately we were left to grow up on our own, maintain our sanity, all the while coming to grips with adolescence and adulthood.
I have another friend that I am bound to by an unconditional love for music. This is not an ordinary love, or a simple "I wanna do music" kind of thing. Its the feeling that this is our birth right and we were inherently destined to do so.
My point is, if you look at the people you are close to, you can probably reduce your relationship to "1 thread". Sometimes these threads can be negative, like friends who are only close because they do dirt together i.e Thelma and Louise. Oftentimes these situations are the worst because they are predicated not so much on the commonality, but fear. Its the fear that one person can expose the other. So when both parties have leverage, they decide to "ride out" together.
Lately I've been thinking about the experiences that tie me to people, but more importantly how they care for our "thread". I definitely feel that when you truly begin to understand why you connect with someone, you can exist harmoniously as long as your thread is upheld and cherished. However when violated, things get ugly. 'Nuff Said. 1